Cell Phones

Dear Ms. Loud-Talker,

Contrary to popular social beliefs, I couldn't care less if you talk on your cell phone for the entire hour that you shop in my store and try on clothes. As long as you keep your voice low enough that I can still think and you don't glare at the rest of us for continuing to carry on with our own discussions. As much as my customer and I enjoyed listening to the argument you had with your (we think) ex (or soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend, we decided to go ahead and select a wardrobe for her honeymoon trip. We could tell you were aggravated with us, but our time is valuable, too. I realize that talking about which short length better suits her proportions and the virtues of A-line dresses vs. sheath dresses was very rudely interrupting the conference call you were having with your two best friends and sister but I was truly torn between creating the perfect sound environment for your comfort and helping a really good client. I hope I made the right choice. And when another customer wanted to pass by you with her stroller, I hope you weren't too inconvenienced to let her by. I could tell you have an adverse reaction to children and appreciate that you simply continued your phone chat with your long-lost school chum at your normal vocal level instead of kicking the toddler. I'm sure her mom will be happy to explain later what the "f-word" is, probably after she repeats it at the perfect moment. I personally appreciated that you would rather help yourself to a dressing room while juggling your iPhone, a large coffee and a purse the size of a small car than trouble me. You even seemed angry that I would go out of my way to help you...always thinking of others. I had been craving a coffee most of the afternoon but was too busy to run to Starbucks and was glad you shared yours with me via a $200 white dress and silk blouse crumpled on your dressing room floor. I didn't want to sell them anyway, I'd rather toss them in the rubbish bin to drive up the pricing on the rest of the goods we sell. You are a very thoughtful person. I hope you will pay a visit to my rival across the street and continue to pay it forward.

Copyright © 2009 The Retail Diaries.

Can't wait to see you again real soon!

P.S. The rash you were describing to your friends and sister is something you should have checked out...and maybe do that before you toss your lying boyfriend out on his sorry ass like you have planned.