Boob Jobs and Lobotomies

Ladies,

Why do you always want to show us your new boobs? I know it must be a really life-altering event and difficult to keep under wraps but seriously, if you were a guy displaying your junk, I would call the cops and you'd have to register your sorry self as a sex offender for indecent exposure. So why the need to showboat the rack? And why do you always surprise us with them? I return from the sales floor with the "next size up" to accommodate your "new girls", per your request, and you open the fitting room door topless with a dumb grin on your face.

It is wasted on me and all of my salesgirls. I intentionally ignore you because I know you are looking for a reaction and roll my eyes as I walk away, wondering if they gave you a lobotomy as a two-for-one special. If you are looking for a little excitement and a giggle, you should head over to the Diesel store and give the teen boys a treat. If you are looking for a little self-improvement, head over to Barnes & Noble and buy a book. It's cheaper than plastic surgery and you'll get a lot more mileage out of an enhanced brain.

It always reminds me of the scene from Summer Rental with the late, great John Candy and a bikini-clad bimbo. Watch the trailer here, the bimbo is about a minute in:

Summer Rental